If I Were You...

Have you ever had something on your mind that you just need to 'let out' or 'vent' so that you can think clearly?

Have you ever gone to a person talking about your situation and then before you can even finish your thought they begin giving you every aspect of advice that you didn't even ask for?

• Then they say "If I were you, I would...."

Actually, I have said this, with the best intentions in mind and there are endless times that I have heard that statement, either to me or being said to someone I know. 

Oh, giving and receiving advice....I have found that people are trying to be helpful, but in reality by them saying "If I were you", it is not helping the person see all the possible options to that situation. They are just hearing what that person thinks you should do if you were them!

Even those with the best of intentions must realize that person is not us and we are not them. We can not live other people's lives for them or through them.

People will make mistakes trip up and get themselves in difficult situations. Your friend, daughter, son, boyfriend, husband, wife, etc. will make mistakes. A rhetorical question...Rather than try to fix  them, wouldn't it be better to be loving and supportive, and when necsesary, listen? (the answer is yes)

The good thing about making a mistake is that it can be a learning experience; they will learn from what they went through. When that person comes to you, you can be a shoulder for them to lean on and hopefully that person will learn a lesson and apply it next time.

Be there for the person and listen, really listen, because not everyone is ready to hear about what you would do if you were them.

If I Were You...written by Vicki Freund Duffy

7 Reasons to Live!

Why should I live?? I can speak from experience on the real, intense, and disturbing feelings that come with suicidal tendencies. I had 2 suicide attempts; one in May of 1993 and the other in September of 1994, where I was 'brought back'. In 1994, when I awoke with doctors hovering, I was miserable that I hadn't succeeded. I could not imagine another day in the torment I lived in. I do understand how it is to not want to live another waking moment.

Although it was not an overnight success or there were some miraculous changes in my life and I did get through it and now I am so glad that I didn't succeed. It is my hope for all who are struggling, to realize you do have hope and a future on this earth!

One more thing, as far as having anyone I know take their own life, a relative took his life in January, 2002 and my mother took her life (in haste) on January 5, 2007. To this day I miss my mother, but do not miss the pain she was in.

There are Reasons to Live!

• You may be thinking to yourself, "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't end it all right now?!"
• In my opinion, here are 7 good reasons not to end your life & 7 good reasons to live:

 1). If you killed yourself, your death will hurt many people, emotionally and mentally.

• Whether your realize it or not, your death will hurt friends, parents, brothers, sisters, husband, wife, teachers, pastor, neighbors, younger kids that look up to you.

2). If you are considering killing yourself because of what someone has done to you, you would be punishing yourself for the actions of another person/people.

• Whatever harm was put on you by someone else is not worth ending your life over. You can find strength in knowing that by you getting better and healed in your mind, that in itself is 'payback' to the person who wronged you.

3). If you were to end your life, you would be creating a permanent answer to something that CAN change.

• Even if your situation has been going on for years, that can change and know that whatever you are going through can be dealt with.

4). Suicide is an extremely devastating occurrence for the people left behind to deal with.

• There are so many unanswered questions in their minds. Many people who are suicidal feel that they are worthless, that their life would be better without them in it. That is not the case, especially those who love them! The effects the loss has on those loved ones left behind is unexplainable! They are left with guilt, bewilderment, feelings of abandonment, trauma, shock, sadness, hopelessness, and probably more questions than they know what to do with.

5). Should you kill yourself, you will never experience the good things that life has to offer!

• Although you may not realize it now, there are many good things in life.

 6). By overcoming, you can become an inspiration to others, helping others get through what you struggled with.

• Suicidal thoughts affect many people who cannot break free from the hopelessness.

7). If you succeeded in ending your life, you would miss what God has for you. Regardless if you believe in God or not, God has a plan specifically for you in this life.

"You have a hope and a future. I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

AS LONG AS YOU HAVE BREATH, YOU HAVE HOPE!

7 Reasons to Live! written by Vicki Freund Duffy

Getting Results!

So many of us look for "instant results" and seems that we are in a fast-food mentality...have it our way in under 5 minutes, and if not we get impatient.

Think of the farmer: the farmer believes that when he/she plants the seeds, that a crop will be produced. They believe, so think of the famer.....

• the farmer plows
• plants
• fertilizes
• waters
• and waits....and waits....and waits some more....and waits again.....

.......Until BAM a crop has grown. If the farmer never completed the process or only did part of the process, the seed wouldn't have taken root and wouldn't have flourished.

We cannot expect our years of issues, hurts, and our situations to be "fixed" or improve or totally better in 5 minutes or 5 days. We need to be patient and believe in the work that has started in us and continue forward doing our part, and in time something beautiful will flourish in us!

Believe, receive and you will achieve!

Getting Results
written by Vicki Duffy